Wonderful Soul Friends,
A few weeks ago I wrote about the deeper meaning behind my recent experience of getting sick (stomach flu and bronchitis). I shared that sometimes my body says “NO,” and it’s my job to listen, to put my ego aside and involve my body in the planning process. That blog definitely struck a chord, and I loved the conversation that took place in the comments. Thank you!
Today I want to share how I’ve been making happier, healthier decisions for myself and making the most of the present.
While I don’t always pull this strategy off, when I do I notice how my life gets richer. The more I align my inner and outer worlds, the more joy I consistently experience. Pretty basic stuff, but for many reasons I need constant reminders. If you do too, read on…
Let delight be your compass
What would happen if you put your ideas, to-do’s, and opportunities through the filter of delight? If you closed your eyes, tuned into your body, and asked this simple question: Would this delight me? Try it. You might be surprised by the answer. Sometimes it’s a full-body “yes”, other times it’s a “hell no”. However, most of the time we have no idea. We just keep on keeping on without taking a step back to check in. Life moves fast, remember delight in the process and you’ll be surprised by the subtle changes that add up and create expansion.
And using delight as our barometer goes far beyond saying yes or no to certain commitments. It helps us choose uplifting conversations rather than bitching, gossiping or putting ourselves and others down. Delight reminds us to devote ourselves to people and projects that inspire rather than tire. It asks us to sit in the sunshine and eat a healthy meal on our lunch break, rather than wolfing down crap at our desks. Or, and this is sooo me, delight reminds us to get up to pee when we need to—rather than holding it for a more convenient moment. Peeing is liberating! And yet, why do I blow off my bladder in favor of just one more email? It’s cray cray.
Let delight help you stay present
The other day a friend asked what’s next for me, what’s the big vision? I paused. Got really tired. Then tapped into my delight practice. My truthful response went something like this…
“I used to answer questions like that with soaring goals and missions for the planet. Worthy stuff—vision is necessary and I have plenty of it. But in truth, I felt pressure to create escalating greatness year after year. If I accomplished my goal I’d praise myself for 30 seconds and then set another one. If I didn’t, I felt like I was a failure. Oy. Vey. I’m so done with that drama. For me, the next thing is doing my best in the present moment, it’s being with you, having fun, and following my delight.”
I explained to my pal that this approach still leaves room for exciting projects like my book launch in October or a petition I want to support in a big way, but it also means that I’m not getting myself into a lather about the future and missing the present magic.
Let delight simmer like a slow-cooked stew
Focusing on delight has shifted my business in a big way too—which can be scary at times. Will I miss a deadline or screw up a budget? Or worse, will I lose my ambition and stop caring? I mean, let’s face it, there’s a lot we have to do that isn’t frickin’ delightful. Unless we win the lottery, we’re probably gonna have to make some compromises. But when I look at the two ways delight informs my life—making conscious choices and being present—I realize that if I trust this beautiful compass it will help me and my team become even more successful, while also prioritizing happiness.
At our recent company retreat I really wanted to drive this idea home, so I introduced this motto: Slow Cooking vs The Machine. Here’s what it means…
When I spend all day on a sauce or stew—chopping, stirring, tasting, stirring—dinner is gonna be really good that night, so good that I’ll probably invite friends over to enjoy the meal. I love feeding people home cooked food, and that energy creates a ripple effect. Well, our readers and customers are the friends we host at Kriscarr.com and on social media.
So I asked my team: Do we want to take the time we need to create a satisfying, well-marinated meal that we’ll both enjoy? Or do we want to just crank out content? Feed the beast? Stuff the machine? We could approach this as a job or a joy—it depends on how we show up. Sure, sometimes there’s no way around a not-so-fun task, but we can still try to get clever and create more delight along the way. This whole process helps us set doable goals and create an environment where we can all rise to the occasion and succeed.
Let your delight grow & start listening closely
Instead of changing everything right away, try leaning into delight. Allow your practice to grow over time and your life will have room to adjust to new decisions and more joyful approaches.
When you start using your delight barometer, you may not know where certain things fall. That’s okay. This is an exercise in listening closely to what lights you up. While some of my so-called mistakes have certainly come from not trusting my instincts, most of them stem from taking the path that was devoid of joy. So keep the pursuit of delight in your consciousness and check in with it regularly. Stay open and watch for cues from your mood and your body. The signs are right in front of you and when ignored, this is what can happen: cough, sniffle, fever, meltdown, panic, cry, blues, exhaustion, copious snacking, copious vodka, etc etc…
Now it’s your turn: So how’s your delight meter registering overall—high or low? If it’s high, right on! If not, what’s one small adjustment you could make that would add more delight to your life?
Peace & delight,
Well my delight meter is dragging bottom for to many reasons to list.
I did treat myself to a home alone epson salt bath a few mornings ago,
With a few flagrant essential oil spritzes.
It was so very sweet…then back to life.
I woke up this morning with this mantra in my mind: “Do it with joy, or take a break!” And suddenly even the mounds of papers/junk in my office I’m planning to tackle today went from a soul-sucking, beat-myself-up-for-hoarding-all-that-crap-AGAIN, endless endeavor, to feeling like an exciting, freeing opportunity for joy and loving myself, my family, and my journey. And then, fate led me here! I will leave this post up on my phone so I can take that break and read it whenever my current grumpy habits sneak back into my present moment. I will find my joy, my delight again, and go from there. Thank you!!!!! xoxox
Today my delight included going to my favorite Mexican restaurant and having two (count them, two!) margaritas with my favorite person ( my husband!), and talking about stuff – just plain ole’ stuff. Pretending to solve the world’s problems, talking about our girls, and not caring that I was consuming too much sugar, too much alcohol, food that was maybe not so great for me. This, in huge contrast to the normal, “how is this consumption going to affect my longevity and will it help to prevent the recurrence?” I’ve decided that I need to have more of these days – and I am guessing that the decrease in pressure will actually increase my number of days. Just guessing…. My delight meter measured pretty high today.
Delight is my focus word for 2017! I love it. Thanks for this great blog Kris.
I just read your “4 ways to follow your delight” and I loved what you said (and you’re a scream!) and the phrase of using your delight as a barometer. Although I don’t eat crap at my work desk I definitely need to sit outside on my lunch break! Love getting your inspirational & direct emails! thank you again, Christine in Tucson.
I love this post, Kris! I needed it right now. I sat down yesterday with my one precious employee to plan for this year, including online courses, book promotion, expanded coaching and retreats. We felt so much joy and excitement in creating our workplan and envisioning all the good we would do and the people we would meet. But, when I woke up this morning, some of that had rubbed off and I had a bit of wanting to curl up in the fetal position to avoid the less joyful elements of making all that happen. I love your line “It depends on how we show up.” When I remember that even the elements that feel hard are really just about connecting with other people, which I love doing, then I can focus on what delights me and show up in joy, instead of grim determination. I’m turning on some good music now to accompany my delight! Thank you for the loving reminder! 🙂 Janette
Thank you, Kris, this is perfect. I am sitting on my sofa, snivelling with a cold and for a moment there I’d totally lost my delight-barometer (delightometer?)! I now feel uplifted and have had a wry chuckle at myself, which is always a good start for finding my way back to balance.
Peace and love to you too,
Jo.
Love and joy flows through your words. You help me start every morning with renewed energy and love! Thank you?
I love your message. I have been on a mindfulness journey for a couple of years now and it certainly works better for me than many other options. Thank you and keep it up but don’t forget about yourself. Lynn Bown 9 year breast cancer thriving survivor.
Thank you so much for this post. I’m one of those people who benefitted from this reminder to focus on what brings me joy. It can be hard because I’m still deep in the healing trenches, but that’s all the more reason to prioritize delight! When I pause and ask myself “Is this making me happy?” the answer is so revealing. “Doing” can become a habit that results in mind+body wariness, but “enjoying” fills me up! Thanks for keeping it real and sharing your truths! <3
Can’t believe I am only reading this now. But now that I read it, I see it is perfect! There’s such a light and light energy in using de-light as a touchstone, in your article. I feel lighter having read it. I use aliveness, and sometimes I forget. I forget more often than I would like.
I’m about to sit down and plan my week. I will now do it with a very different energy. I already feel lighter going into it. I have a smile on my face. It’s really good!
Thank you Kris! You’re great!
Yes it’s true. Using delight as our barometer goes far beyond saying anything else.
This is such a great perspective, and I too love the word “delight”. We often talk about happiness, peace or joy, but “delight” seems to take it to a whole new level. Of course, not everything feels like a delight at the time, even if it’s something that will bring us delight in the long run. Which I guess it what you’re getting at with the slow-cooking metaphor. Can you for this reminder; I will make an extra effort to pursue delight today.
This so resonates Kris. Running my own business I stressed myself out so much last year after quitting my day job that I felt like nothing is worth it anymore, despite seeing results in the business. But I started to take better care of myself, listened to myself more in terms of what I really want, what’s in my heart that wants to be expressed…and now feeling increasingly better and clearer on where I want my life to go and making it happen.
Thanks for this great post and reminding me that delight and joy feel good for a reason – as our compass to the right actions! 🙂
I love your article and thoughts in this edition. Plus…a bunny card!!! (I have a pet bunny 🙂 )
So, in thinking of where my barometer is at? I think I’m getting better at this and thinking more of “will this bring me joy…?” My friends have told me over the years that I’m bubbly…so I can relate to Lynette’s comments on “joy bubbles”…but I think that I lost some of that in recent years. I have some fear/trepidation at times, but then I think…oh this could be so fun! And what I’m finding is that those things are making me have a more enriching life! How very cool!
I try hard to be more in the present now, and putting away those same drama things like “what’s next for you?” and “is my cancer coming back?”. In the meantime, I’m not discarding goals, but not overly focusing on them now and more on whoever I am talking with, spending time with…enjoying more of life. I think I’m on the right track.
p.s.: I think I will get a set of your cards—so cute and uplifting! I will use these in part in my scrapbook–it’s a smaller daily format called a “smash book” where I place products I love and why, cool activities, random thoughts that I want to look back on later and go “oh yes…”, fun events with photos, etc.
Kris,
Thank you for writing this. I love it so much, and I continue to find new ways to really respect my own inner delight barometer. Ego tries so hard to drown it out, and when I favor ego over delight–YUCK. Life gets lackluster, FAST, even if I’m soaring through my to-do list. Tuning into joy and gratitude is one of the most powerful practices, and it’s comforting and inspiring to know that someone as successful as you is still using it. Proof that it’s useful on ANY step of the journey.
BIG Love to you!
Caroline
Thank you for this post. I’ve been trying to make a choice about my life next year and I’m finding it very difficult to decide. Taking into account my health, the practical stuff, feelings, instinct etc. Etc, makes it much harder but having the question “will it delight me?” To puzzle over and meditate on is going to help. I’m not sure where what lies on a delightful scale but I like it as an idea of a new thought process.
For the past few years I have had a similar intention for the month of December which is a crazy time in our family of way overscheduled stuff: I am only doing ______ if it is fun. Whether that is a party, decorating, baking, gifts, cookie exchange, hosting etc, it has made a big difference! And you are right, there is definitely some compromise, because my family members have opinions, too, and some tradtions are more important to some people than to others, but also if I know that the event or activity is very important and fun for someone I love, then I can delight in it more, knowing that I am enjoying their special thing with them. It makes me stop and aks myself WHY I am doing something, instead of just squeezing it in just because “well, we ALWAYS do this for the holidays.”
After 25 years teaching high school, I have resigned from full-time to half-time. It was scary but I had no choice. Now I will be able to nurture myself and spend time helping my clients (I also have a small business offering reflexology, Healing Touch, massage, etc.) I am delighted and excited at the next chapter. 🙂
Brava Lisa!
Hello Kris, this is just what needed to hear today! Sometimes we get caught up in the doing of things. We forget we forget to enjoy our journey. I’ve been sick twice in the last month and I’m never really sick. When I got the flu at the start of the month I thought it was time to slow down make time to do some creative writing and meditate. Also including being mindful of the present. And things have been great.and a lot has changed.
Until the long weekend I wasn’t practising my mindfulness and meditation. And have been sick all week. I know why now. Once we change our life for the better, you can’t go back. Thank you for for this great reminded. Love and light to you.
=) Ellen
Very cool! (I share your pain though–had a similar nasty cold that just left…ugh)
I recently read an article in Mantra: Yoga and Health about considering projects, obligations, goals, by asking, “Is this a hell, yes?!” And, if it’s not, it’s a “hell, no!” Between that article and this post, I think the universe might be trying to tell me something about setting priorities. Thanks for the gentle, but powerful reminder, Kris.
You’re a wonderful writer Kris, thank you all the way from a supermarket car park down under – a moment to pause, reset, breath, and open to delight even with a thumping headache xx
Beautiful. Thank you for the constant inspiration and pause.
You are such an inspiration to me! Your book was my very step to loving and healing myself! It is still a work in progress for me but the differences are already here, and blessings are sent your way every day!
Thank you.
Kris…as many have stated before me…WOW and THANK YOU…as we all just keep on keeping on (I say this all the time!) we forget the bigger picture…I love delight and yes, joy bubbles too. I’m just getting used to using “full body yesses” in my life. It always seemed I needed a hammer on the head to “wake up” to the very obvious “overdo” in my life. Everyone else before my own delight. Yet, we all know that taking care of self-first leaves so much a better person to help take care of others. When you share these timeless reminders with all of the rest of us, it is just is so much easier to digest! The end result comes without the headache!
Thank you again…for being you.
This could not have come at a better time. I’ve been feeling so blah lately and I don’t even know why, everything I could need to be happy I have which only makes me feel guilty on top of blah. The truth is I’m just not spending my time the way I want, always feels like there’s a giant checklist i’m dragging around… I’m not thinking about what delights me throughout the day… so simple yet profound!
Thanks for another inspiring post.
I love your approach: I too often pressure myself to pursue a stressful career or to keep studying while I still do not know if what I am pursuing will make me happy at all. I even put aside projects that would make me happier in order to pursue other projects which are demanding but prestigious. In the end, with one life to live, we should make the most of it! Thanks again for sharing, and I’ll take some time in the next few weeks to think though delight!
Thank you, Kris. My life lately is reflective of not coming from a place of joy and delight. Your message has resonated profoundly with me.
Darling Kris <3 you are simply delightful! Thank you for all that you share – and your timing is always perfect xoxox
This one really hit home! I am doing, going, running, taking care of my other half who has had a stroke, barely moves using a walker and sometimes has his head screwed on crossways. I have lost me, it is coming out as anger, frustration and overwhelm. The question now becomes “what gives me delight?” Thank you again!
Cappy, I think I wrote this blog especially for you. More delight (and support) needed indeed. Blessings to you awesome one. x
Reading your blog every week delights me to no end, Kris. You radiate such warmth, wisdom and fun through your words. I just love you. This particular blog is very beautiful. I am gonna check in all the time now and delight up 🙂
After getting bed-ridden sick last year with an autoimmune disease, I have spent the past 18 months healing my body, getting to know the “new” me, and reconnecting with what brings me love, light, joy and peace. I’m sad that that’s what it took to get me on the right path, but you know from experience what’s that’s like Kris, and I am now a believer that sometimes that’s what it takes for God to get His message through to us. So, it’s all about joy these days. 🙂
When I bring delight into the mix of things that have to be done, it is uplifting and the prospect of doing the work isn’t so bad after all. Thank you for the suggestion!
It’s always such a joy to read your posts.
Last month I didn’t get as much posted in my blog as my goal but I struggled with coming up with something that I felt was good content. And I made the conscious decision not to put crap out there just put crap out there. And I finally posted something this week and it’s been one of the most popular post I’ve ever done ! So I only now do I appreciate I made the right decision. Bless you for putting into words another validating experience.
I sped read through your blog in a rush to get my day started. I really connected with all that you said, but did I really? Not today, I definitely didn’t take the time to enjoy your words, and let them sink in. So, reminder to me to enjoy and devote time to the moment to get the most of it. Thanks for the reminder.
I’m so glad you shared that because I do that too. Great reminder. Delight is certainly in the little things. x
Delight is one of my ‘Core Desired Feelings’. The past few weeks have felt more like drudgery. Thank you for this sweet honest reminder. Heart you KC. Keep shining your bright on the world.
Amen and so true. I am currently playing the part of “unemployed”. I had convinced myself that I could play the part of a cashier, but that little voice started to express its opinion. My body started screaming a Big ” Hell No”. Such a simple little word with life changing impact! You are such a gift… Big hug to you and your team:-)
A wise friend of mine suggests changing “I have to” to “I get to”. It changes your whole perspective.Another thing to watch is complaining. Try going a day without complaining and you will be shocked.
Thank you for sending and email with the word delight in it! It’s already reset my day!
Kris!!!!! You are the best.
ahhh, I love this. The next big thing is right now! And I love the slow cooker analogy. It’s true sometimes you feel like you just need to “get stuff out there” so I like the idea of creating and sharing more “savored” content 🙂 Thanks!
Bravo Kris. You inspire so many of us to get out of our box to embrace the precious moments in life that so many of us can miss. Thank you for sharing how you live.
Kris, thank you for this. I always choose to tea your blog on JUST the right day when I need it the most. Perhaps the universe is guiding me to do so. I am going to think of leaning towards the joy AND delighting in joy of my tasks and go from here. Thank you for your thoughtful approach and inspiring light. I have been feeling wrapped up in non-joyful tasks lately, and I appreciate the sentiment. You ROCK and thanks for the bonus of inspiration on this Tuesday!
Hrm. Instead of focusing only on achieving results, it may help to enjoy the process and have fun along the way. One thing I can do is to carve out some time each day for nonsensical fun for no purpose other than fun. I can also think of fun new ways to do the things I normally do and also think up fun new things to do. Perhaps I can also give myself permission to be spontaneous–no plans, just go with the flow and whatever hits me at the moment.
The word delight is a new one for me! It’s more user friendly and tangible than the big word Joy.
I thinker now I am going to do this delight exercise and get used to the energy. I have a sneaky suspicion that I have some pockets of guilt around a “delightful life”
Thank you Kris and company for the love you give !
This is such an important reminder for me as I am always being a busy bee as I start my own business. Thank you for bringing my focus back to delight and making sure that I don’t miss the present by being too focused on the future.
xxx
Dang, Kris! Just LOVE this. You really “speak” to me, sister! Rock on. You DELIGHT me!
Thanks for that! It made look at what I do and see what delighted me the most. I like variety in life, so I am a catering chef, a kitchen designer, a health coach and a writer. All of them can be delightful at times so I asked myself, which one was always delightful? As my goal is to bring happiness to others in whatever I do, all of my avocations give me that opportunity, but your blog made realize it is the writing that always makes ME happy. My present book concerns the life and times of a supernatural hero who wants to save the world (really its inhabitants) from themselves. As I love the Earth and people, I want the book to be a vehicle to help both to be healthy and whole. Bottom line, you made me focus on the fact that I need to put in a bit more time on the book and less on the other things that aren’t always a delight. My goal is to finish by the end of the summer, so I better get on with it!! If the book does well, it could be a great movie! That is my opinion, for now, and I am sticking to it. Delightful!!
Once AGAIN, I am reading a Kris Carr post that directly speaks to my own current challenges. And, once again, the Kris wisdom is SPOT ON. Bless you for sharing your heart in service to us all, dear Kris (and team!).
Namaste,
Trish
Thank you for your beautiful wisdom. I’ve spent the last 4 years in a place of fear, anxiety, and depression. I felt like I was a victim- to my workplace, my childhood, my negative thoughts- the list went on and on. I felt trapped. Over the last few weeks, I’ve gotten super-seriously committed to seeking love first. I’m in the midst of a 30-day yoga and meditation challenge and I’m AMAZED at how these simple acts have refocused my mind. I really appreciate your insight into delight. Sadly, “feeding the machine” has become my autopilot. However, starting these daily practices helps me to start and end the work day with a little delight. The more delight I see in my life, the more I seek!
Chelsea – I’m currently in stuck in a fear/anxiety/depression muck and think I needed to see your comment this morning. Reading your comment reminds me that there are so many of us who get stuck in this muck – so I don’t feel alone. Your comment and Kris’s post are reminding me that it is a simple thing to seek love, to seek delight and to feel the joy that is right here and right now. Happy to have been drawn here this morning. thanks! Erin
Erin and Chelsea,
Thank you both so much for sharing about your respective periods of muck and fear – I too, have felt that way, particularly in recent months. Despite my best intentions to move forward with my life, both personally and professionally, I have allowed myself to be in a place of avoidance and being reclusive. I know that a big part of this stem from having been dealing with a chronic illness for over a decade now but I see how I retreat inward when I become fearful and unsure of myself. Not a great place to be, for sure!
Meditation and quiet reflection are a big reason why I’m turning things around and regaining my mojo. When I observe my daily meditation practice, I find that I am in a place of stability and feel so grounded. I notice that if I stray from this, that is when the fear, self-doubt and hesitation comes creeping back in.
Thanks again for sharing – a great gift for us all 🙂
I LOVE these posts when you dive deep into how our approach to life impacts our overall sense of well-being. It’s these kinds of questions that can truly change our quality of life at another level.
It’s amazing how bringing more presence, more consciousness into everything that we do has a tendency to amplify our effectiveness.
I know that I get afraid that if I take the time to enjoy life that I might miss out on (insert big project here, opportunity for success, not living up to my purpose, etc). But the opposite happens, we become more effective, more productive, and more in love with life which ALWAYS opens doors — usually unexpected and delightful ones.
Thanks for another inspiring slow-cooked article.
Matt, I always love your comments. And thanks–you just gave me another idea for a blog! xo
Wow! I want to read this over and over again. Joy and love in the present moment. I must remember this and not lose focus.
Wow, did HP lead me to this one!! Thank you for your delight insight. I find it difficult to discern the delight from the not so delightful(the icky work part). Thanks for your thoughts.
Kris – I feel like you continue to tap into what ails so many of us. Your journey also provides a burst of breath, a beam of sunshine, a beacon of inner truth that grabs my shoulders and shakes me into consciousness. We are conditioned to trudge through our days to and our to-do lists without ever asking ourselves the simple questions that will yield the seeds of joy. Thank you, for being you, and for being vulnerable enough to share yourself with the rest of us.
Linda, thank you for your sweet thoughts and encouragement. Big love.
Lovely! And very timely. I completely agree.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your inspiration, for your wisdom and for your love.
Big love to you..Victoria Lily (England)
I like the word delight! I use the phrase joy bubbles. Is what I’m doing bringing me joy? Do I feel effervescent? Like you stated in your blog-sometimes we just have things we need to do, so I look at all aspects and try to find one thing that gives me joy bubbles. I spent 4 -1/2 hrs cleaning and re-arranging a friends home to make some extra income. It’s not that I just love to vacuum or wash floors-it’s the transformation in the area that I worked in. It felt so good to bring peace and tranquility to chaos. That’s what delight felt like to me. Hugs
Ooh… I love joy bubbles. Thanks for that Lynette! x